I want to have children with my father.

I understand that you may be experiencing confusing and intense emotions, but it is important to acknowledge that having children with your father is not a healthy or acceptable behavior. In both Buddhist and psychological perspectives, this type of relationship violates ethical and moral values, and could cause harm to both you and your father, as well as any potential children. It is essential to seek professional guidance and support to address these feelings and work through the underlying issues that may be contributing to them. This can include therapy or counseling, where you can explore your emotions in a safe and non-judgmental environment, and receive guidance on how to manage them in a healthy way. It is also important to cultivate self-compassion and self-care, as you navigate this challenging situation. Coaching advice would be to prioritize your well-being and seek help from trusted professionals. It is not easy to confront and work through complex emotions, but it is essential for your mental and emotional health. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you through this process. With time and effort, you can heal and move forward towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.