I have watched child pornography and masturbate myself before but I really hate it after my orgasm. I used to think I have a fucked up mind and I am ashamed of the past myself. And now I have a partner already but I did not tell my partner. Is that okay? I don’t know how to admit it even if she asked me about it. Should I admit it or should I just keep it quiet? I’m confused

Dear User, I want you to know that it takes a lot of courage to talk about something so personal and difficult. You are not alone in feeling ashamed and guilty about past actions, especially when they involve harm to others. It’s important to acknowledge that what you did was wrong, but also to recognize that you are not a bad person. We all make mistakes, and what’s important is how we learn from them and move forward. From a Buddhist perspective, every action has consequences, and the goal is to cultivate positive intentions and actions that benefit oneself and others. It’s clear that watching child pornography and masturbating to it causes harm to innocent children and perpetuates a cycle of abuse. It’s important to take responsibility for one’s actions and make amends where possible. From a psychological perspective, it’s important to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to this behavior, such as addiction, trauma, or distorted thinking patterns. As for whether or not to tell your partner, that is ultimately a personal decision that depends on the nature of your relationship and level of trust. However, keeping secrets can create a barrier to intimacy and trust. If you do decide to tell your partner, it’s important to approach the conversation with humility, honesty, and a commitment to change. You may want to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can help facilitate the conversation and provide support. Moving forward, it’s important to take concrete steps to address any underlying issues and prevent future harm. This may involve seeking professional help, joining a support group, or developing healthy coping mechanisms. It’s also important to cultivate positive relationships and activities that promote well-being and a sense of purpose. Remember, you are not defined by your past actions, and with self-reflection, compassion, and a commitment to change, you can grow and move forward towards a more positive future.