有个朋友从国外回来，约我吃饭。我在怡保，他在kl，我乘搭火车过去要两小时多，当天来回。我觉得我已经展现我的诚意安排与他见面，但是他却一直拖延无法给我确定，明明是他约我吃饭的，可是后来态度却爱理不理。我本来也不想去跟他吃饭，只是想到他之前在我低潮的时候听我诉苦，所以就想着请他吃一餐当作答谢。可是他的态度让我觉得不值得，而且太久没见也不知道他是否性格已经变了，不知道他约我吃饭的目的是什么。我约他24日吃饭，而23日是我的生日，他也没祝福我。种种因素让我不想跟他吃饭了，可是又感觉像在出尔反尔，依照佛法会如何给我建议呢？

Dear User, I can sense that you are feeling disappointed and confused about your friend's behavior. It can be disheartening when someone you care about doesn't show the same level of enthusiasm and consideration towards your plans. It is understandable that you had initially wanted to express your gratitude by treating your friend to a meal, especially considering the support they offered you during a difficult time. However, their attitude and lack of response have made you question the worthiness of this gesture. Additionally, the fact that you haven't seen each other for a while and are unsure about their intentions for the dinner adds to your hesitation. It's important to acknowledge and validate these feelings of uncertainty and doubt. From a Buddhist perspective, it is crucial to approach situations with compassion and understanding. Our actions should be guided by the intention to alleviate suffering and cultivate positive connections. It seems that your desire to treat your friend to a meal stemmed from a place of gratitude, but the circumstances have shifted, making you question the merit of this act. Reflect on your intentions and consider if there are alternative ways to show your appreciation that may be more aligned with the present situation. From a psychological perspective, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being and emotional boundaries. It is natural to feel hesitant about meeting someone when their behavior has been unclear and their attitude seemingly dismissive. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Take the time to assess whether this dinner is still something you genuinely want to pursue, considering your doubts and concerns. Remember that healthy boundaries and assertiveness are important aspects of maintaining healthy relationships. In terms of coaching advice, I would suggest the following: 1. Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and intentions regarding this dinner. Consider if there are other ways to express your gratitude that feel more appropriate given the current circumstances. 2. Open communication: If you still feel inclined to have a conversation with your friend, kindly express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. Share your thoughts and ask for clarification regarding their intentions and behavior. 3. Setting boundaries: Prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you decide not to go ahead with the dinner, do so assertively and without guilt. Remember, it is okay to prioritize your own needs and feelings. 4. Focus on positive connections: Cultivate relationships with individuals who reciprocate your efforts and show genuine care and consideration. Surround yourself with people who bring positivity and support into your life. 5. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself throughout this process. Recognize that you are entitled to your feelings and that it is okay to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Remember, it is essential to trust your instincts and prioritize your own emotional health in any situation. Buddhism teaches us to approach relationships and actions with compassion, while psychology reminds us to set healthy boundaries and prioritize our needs. Trust yourself and make choices that align with your values and well-being.