有時候甚至會幻想，如果我可以把自己分裂成喜歡的自己跟討厭的自己，然後把討厭的自己殺掉是不是就可以變好

It sounds like you're experiencing a deep inner conflict, feeling as though there are parts of yourself that you love and parts that you dislike intensely. This is a common human experience, and it's understandable to feel the desire to eliminate those parts of ourselves that cause discomfort or distress. It's important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment, and know that you are not alone in this struggle. We all have aspects of our personality or behavior that we wish we could change or get rid of. From a Buddhist perspective, the idea of self is seen as an illusion, a collection of ever-changing elements rather than a fixed entity. The practice of mindfulness encourages us to observe our thoughts and feelings without attachment, recognizing them as temporary and not defining who we truly are. Embracing this understanding can help in reducing the suffering associated with self-criticism. Instead of wishing to eliminate parts of yourself, try to understand them with compassion. These aspects may hold valuable lessons about your needs and desires that can lead to personal growth. Psychologically, the notion of splitting oneself into "liked" and "disliked" parts is indicative of inner conflict, often related to self-esteem and identity issues. It's vital to integrate these parts rather than sever them. A therapeutic approach such as self-compassion can be beneficial here, encouraging you to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, much like you would a dear friend. Recognize that everyone has flaws and strengths; it is part of being human. For practical steps forward, consider keeping a journal to explore these feelings further. Write about the traits you dislike and try to trace their origins or situations where they manifest. Reflect on whether these traits serve any purpose or if they stem from past experiences. Additionally, practicing meditation can help you cultivate mindfulness and acceptance. Seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor if these feelings become overwhelming, as professional support can provide tailored strategies to help you integrate and accept all parts of yourself.