i found out a friend of mine has a boyfriend. everyone else i know or has a partner or kids at 31 but here i am without it. am i a problem? i met so many people but still single. suffered some relationships and people choose me second

Dear friend, I hear the weight of your words and the ache in your heart as you share your feelings of loneliness and perhaps even inadequacy in comparison to those around you who seem to have found partners or started families. It's understandable to feel a sense of disconnection and longing when it seems like everyone else is moving forward in their relationships while you remain single. Please know that your worth is not defined by your relationship status or by comparing yourself to others. Each person's journey is unique, and where others may have found partners, it doesn't diminish your value or the path you are on. From a Buddhist perspective, it's essential to recognize that attachment to external circumstances, such as being in a relationship, can lead to suffering. The concept of impermanence teaches us that everything is constantly changing, including our relationships. Finding contentment and peace within yourself, independent of external validations, is a key teaching in Buddhism. Similarly, from a psychological viewpoint, it's crucial to work on building self-love and self-compassion. Understanding your worth and cultivating a sense of fulfillment from within can help alleviate the feelings of inadequacy or being second choice in relationships. In terms of coaching advice, I would encourage you to focus on self-discovery and personal growth. Take this time to explore your interests, passions, and values. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it's a new hobby, volunteering, or furthering your education. By investing in yourself and building a strong sense of self-esteem, you will naturally attract healthier relationships where you are valued as a first choice. Remember, you are deserving of love and respect, starting with the love and respect you show yourself. Trust in your journey and have faith that the right connections will come at the right time.