Why do I feel people have their hidden agenda and are exhausting?

Dear User, I can understand how you feel when you believe that people have their hidden agenda and that it can be exhausting for you. It is natural to feel this way, especially when you have had negative experiences with people in the past. It can create a sense of mistrust and make it difficult to form new relationships. From a Buddhist perspective, one of the causes of suffering is attachment. When we attach ourselves to certain expectations or outcomes, we can become disappointed or frustrated when things do not go as planned. This can lead to negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. In this case, when we expect people to act a certain way or have certain intentions, we can become disappointed when they do not meet our expectations. From a psychological perspective, this feeling may stem from past experiences where you have been let down or hurt by people who had hidden agendas. These experiences can create a negative cognitive bias, where you automatically assume that people have hidden motives. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, where you attract people who do have hidden agendas because of your negative expectations. In terms of coaching advice, it may be helpful to practice mindfulness and self-awareness. By being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can begin to notice when you are making assumptions about people. You can then challenge these assumptions by considering alternative explanations for their behavior. It may also be helpful to practice gratitude and focus on the positive aspects of your relationships rather than dwelling on the negative. Building healthy boundaries and learning to communicate your needs effectively can also help you form more positive relationships.