I want to murder people with spoon

First and foremost, I want to express my deep concern for your wellbeing. It takes a lot of courage to admit to having violent thoughts and desires, and it is a sign that you are struggling with something very difficult. It's important to remember that having intrusive or harmful thoughts does not make you a bad person, nor does it mean that you will act on those thoughts. In fact, many people experience similar thoughts and manage to overcome them with the right support and tools. From a Buddhist perspective, we believe in the inherent goodness of all beings, and that everyone has the potential to cultivate compassion and wisdom. However, we also acknowledge that we are all subject to negative thoughts and emotions, and that it is our responsibility to work on transforming these into positive qualities. This can be done through meditation, mindfulness, and other spiritual practices that help us to develop greater awareness of our thoughts and actions. From a psychological perspective, thoughts of violence can be a symptom of underlying mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma. It's important to seek professional help if you are experiencing persistent violent thoughts, as a therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and support you need to address these issues. As a coach, my advice would be to prioritize your mental health and seek out professional support as soon as possible. This could include therapy, counseling, or even a support group where you can connect with others who may be going through similar struggles. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you to develop greater awareness of your thoughts and emotions, and give you the tools to manage them in a healthy and constructive way.