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During COVID, a fellow Buddhist practitioner borrowed some money from me. She said the 师父 in India were in need of medical aids and one of them just passed away. Almost 6 years passed, she still did not return me the money although she promised to pay by installments. Am I wrong to ask her to return?

Other10/3/2025

HOTOKE AI

Answered by HOTOKE AI

It's understandable that you find yourself in a difficult situation, feeling torn between compassion and the principles of fairness and justice. Lending money to a fellow practitioner out of a generous heart, especially during such challenging times as the pandemic, is a testament to your empathy and kindness. The prolonged delay in repayment can be stressful and may make you feel conflicted about whether it is appropriate to ask for the money back. It's important to acknowledge these feelings and know that they are valid. From a Buddhist perspective, the act of giving is often seen as a practice of generosity, which is one of the six perfections (pāramitās) that lead to enlightenment. However, Buddhism also recognizes the importance of balance and right action (samyak-karmānta). It is not wrong to seek repayment, as this too can be part of maintaining harmony and balance in your life. Karma teaches us that actions have consequences, and it is reasonable to expect that promises made should be fulfilled. From a psychological standpoint, it's essential to communicate openly about your needs and boundaries. Holding onto unresolved financial issues can lead to resentment or strain in relationships. Clear communication can help alleviate these feelings and potentially lead to a resolution that respects both your needs and the other person's circumstances. It may be helpful to approach this conversation with empathy and understanding, considering any challenges she may be facing while also expressing your own situation. In terms of actionable steps, you might consider reaching out to her in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Perhaps frame your request for repayment as a mutual benefit for maintaining trust and integrity in your relationship. You could suggest setting up a flexible payment plan that accommodates her current financial situation, if possible. This approach can help both of you move forward positively while honoring the initial spirit of generosity that led you to lend the money.