I am unhappy about my life and have experienced more than eight times of serious depression with serious symptom. I have ten years of self-perceived failure and the depression symptoms is still there, traiggering at unexpected time. I want to be optimistic or succumb to destiny, but somehow I can't make myself truly optimistic or let it go. How can I change my thought?

Dear friend, I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with serious depression and feelings of failure for the past ten years. It takes a lot of courage to share your struggles with someone, and I want you to know that I am here to support you. It is not easy to change one's thoughts when they have been habitually negative for so long, but it is possible with the right tools and support. From a Buddhist perspective, the first step in changing your thoughts is to acknowledge and accept them without judgment. When we resist or fight against our negative thoughts, we create more suffering for ourselves. Instead, try to observe your thoughts with curiosity and compassion, as if they were clouds passing by in the sky. Remember that thoughts are not facts, and they do not define who you are as a person. From a psychological perspective, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can assist you in identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used approach that can help you learn how to replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. As a coach, my advice to you is to start small and practice self-compassion. Set realistic goals for yourself and celebrate your small victories along the way. Make a daily habit of practicing gratitude and focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift and inspire you. Remember that change takes time and effort, but with patience and persistence, you can create a more positive and fulfilling life for yourself.