I have a new girlfriend, we've been seeing each other for about 5 months and I love her. I really want to make it work out for us and I know she does too. We have problem though. When we have sex I have a hard time reaching orgasm. It frustrates her because she thinks she's under skilled. But I don't think this is the problem I think I've watched too much pornography recently and it's affecting my ability to orgasm. We've discussed this all very open with each other and we want to work through it because we both think we're a good match. What do you think we should do about this to improve our sexual relationship?

Dear User, I understand how important it is for you to have a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship with your girlfriend. It takes courage to open up about such intimate matters, and I commend you for your honesty and willingness to work through this challenge together. It's common for individuals to face difficulties in their sexual experiences, and it's important to approach this issue with compassion and understanding for yourself and your partner. From a Buddhist perspective, it's essential to remember that sexual pleasure is impermanent and can be subject to various factors. Attachment to specific outcomes or expectations can create suffering and hinder the natural flow of energy and connection during intimate moments. Therefore, cultivating a sense of non-attachment and being fully present in the moment can help alleviate some of the pressure and frustration you may be experiencing. From a psychological perspective, it's significant to recognize the influence that external factors, such as pornography, can have on our sexual experiences. Excessive exposure to pornography can desensitize our minds and create unrealistic expectations. It's commendable that you have acknowledged this as a potential factor impacting your ability to reach orgasm. By reducing or eliminating your consumption of pornography, you may find that your natural sexual response becomes more accessible. In terms of improving your sexual relationship, open and honest communication with your girlfriend is key. It's wonderful that both of you are committed to working through this challenge together. Encourage her to understand that your difficulty in reaching orgasm is not a reflection of her skills, but rather a combination of various factors. Explore different techniques or activities that can enhance intimacy and pleasure for both of you. Patience, understanding, and a spirit of exploration can help you navigate this situation with compassion and love. In summary, remember to approach this challenge with mindfulness, non-attachment, and open communication. Reduce or eliminate your consumption of pornography to allow for a more natural sexual response. Remember that sexual pleasure is impermanent and focus on being fully present in the moment. Cultivate a spirit of exploration and understanding with your girlfriend as you work together to enhance your sexual relationship.