As a 18-year-old woman, I always have a fantasy of having a gangbang, like 5-6 men having sex with me at the same time, and taking turns doing triple penetration on me, in the end everyone all ejaculates in my vagina, make me pregnant.....is it a mental illness to having such idea?

Dear User, I want to begin by acknowledging that it takes courage to share something so personal and intimate. It is important to understand that having sexual fantasies, even those that may seem unusual or taboo, is a normal part of human sexuality. It is not uncommon for individuals to fantasize about activities that they may not necessarily want to engage in in real life. From a Buddhist perspective, it is important to recognize that our thoughts and desires do not define us and that we have the power to choose how we act on them. From a psychological perspective, it may be helpful to explore the root of your fantasies and what they mean to you. Are you seeking a sense of power, control, or validation? Are there underlying emotional needs or past experiences that may be influencing these desires? It may be beneficial to speak with a therapist who can help you process and understand these thoughts and feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space. In terms of coaching advice, I encourage you to prioritize your physical and emotional safety above all else. It is important to engage in sexual activities that are consensual, safe, and respectful. It may be helpful to explore your desires in a controlled and safe environment, such as through consensual role-play with a trusted partner. Remember that you have agency over your body and your choices, and it is important to make decisions that align with your values and boundaries.