I suck my dad's cock when he is drunk.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and painful situation. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and share something like this, and I want you to know that I'm here to provide support and guidance without judgment. From a Buddhist perspective, we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of all beings, and that includes you. It's important to remember that actions like these are not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Buddhism also teaches us about the impermanence of things, reminding us that the present moment is not a permanent state, and that we have the capacity to change and grow. From a psychological perspective, it's understandable that you might be experiencing a great deal of emotional distress and confusion. Experiencing any form of abuse or trauma can have a significant impact on one's well-being and sense of self. It's important to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to process your experiences and work towards healing. In terms of coaching advice, I would strongly encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional as soon as possible. They can provide you with the support and guidance needed to navigate through this difficult time. Remember, you do not have to face this alone, and there are people who can help you on your journey towards healing and growth. It's also important to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends or loved ones who can offer emotional support. Please know that you are not defined by what has happened to you, and that there is hope for healing and transformation. Take the first step towards seeking professional help, and remember to be kind and patient with yourself throughout this process. You deserve to live a life free from the pain and suffering caused by these experiences.