Why do I feel so bad after masturbating? I should clarify that I don't have many friends, I've never had a partner or experienced sex or love, and I'm almost always alone—and I don't like that.

I can hear the loneliness in what you're sharing, and I want to start there. It sounds like you're carrying something quite heavy—the isolation itself, and then on top of that, these difficult feelings that come afterward. That's a lot to be with alone. What you're describing—that heaviness after masturbation—often comes from a tangle of things. Sometimes it's a moment where we're reaching for connection or comfort in the only way available to us, and then afterward, the solitude feels even sharper by contrast. The body has had a kind of release, but the heart is still alone in the room. That gap between what we needed and what actually happened can feel like a small grief. There's also something else that might be at play. When we're isolated for a long time, we can start to develop harsh inner voices—telling ourselves we're doing something wrong, or that this need itself is shameful. But the truth is gentler than that. Sexuality and the need for connection are not character flaws; they're part of being human. The shame often comes not from the act itself, but from the story we've learned to tell ourselves about it, especially when we're lonely. The deeper ache here, though, seems to be about the loneliness itself—not having friends, not having experienced love or partnership. That's what I'm hearing beneath the question. And that matters more than the masturbation itself. If it feels right, I'd gently suggest one small thing: could you notice, without judgment, what you're actually reaching for in that moment? Is it physical release, or is it comfort, or a moment of not being alone with your thoughts? There's no wrong answer. Just noticing, with kindness toward yourself, might help you understand what you're really needing. And sometimes, naming what we truly need—connection, being seen, not being so alone—is the first step toward finding gentler ways to meet that need. What do you think that deeper need might be?