I care too much about what people think of me

Dear User, thank you for sharing your concern with me. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and seek help. I understand how difficult it can be to feel like we are constantly being judged or evaluated by others. It can be exhausting to try and keep up with other people's expectations, especially when we feel like we are falling short. It's important to remember that you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with similar feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. From a Buddhist perspective, it's helpful to remember that our thoughts and emotions are impermanent and constantly changing. The Buddha taught that our suffering arises from our attachment to things that are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfactory. In this case, our attachment to what other people think of us can cause us a lot of unnecessary suffering. We can practice letting go of this attachment by cultivating mindfulness and self-compassion. When we are mindful, we can observe our thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. When we are self-compassionate, we can offer ourselves the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend who is struggling. From a psychological perspective, it's important to understand that our beliefs about ourselves and our abilities are often shaped by our early experiences and the messages we received from others. If we grew up feeling like we were never good enough, it's understandable that we would continue to struggle with feelings of inadequacy as adults. It can be helpful to explore these beliefs and where they come from, and to challenge them with evidence that contradicts them. We can also work on building our self-esteem and self-worth by focusing on our strengths and accomplishments, and by practicing self-care and self-compassion. In terms of coaching advice, I would encourage you to start by practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. When you notice yourself getting caught up in thoughts about what other people think of you, try to observe those thoughts with curiosity and without judgment. You might say to yourself, "I notice that I'm feeling anxious about what this person thinks of me. That's okay, it's a natural feeling." Then, try to offer yourself some kind and supportive words, like "I'm doing the best I can, and that's enough." You might also try to focus on your own values and goals, rather than what other people think of you. What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to lead? When we focus on our own values and goals, we are less likely to be swayed by the opinions of others.