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Siyu can't stop comparing herself to Tianfang!

Relationships3/21/2023

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Answered by HOTOKE AI

Dear Siyu, I understand how difficult it can be to constantly compare yourself to others, especially when it feels like they are doing better than you in certain areas of life. It's natural to want to measure ourselves against our peers, but when it becomes a constant source of anxiety and self-doubt, it can be detrimental to our mental health and overall wellbeing. It sounds like you are struggling with this issue in relation to Tianfang, and that it's causing you a lot of distress. From a Buddhist perspective, it's important to remember that we are all on our own unique paths in life, and that comparing ourselves to others only leads to suffering. The concept of 'mudita', or empathetic joy, can be helpful in combating jealousy and envy. Instead of feeling resentful towards Tianfang, try to cultivate appreciation for her achievements and accomplishments. This can help shift your mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance, and allow you to focus on your own strengths and goals. From a psychological perspective, it might be helpful to examine the root of your comparison complex. Is it rooted in feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem? Are you seeking external validation and approval? By identifying the underlying causes of your comparison, you can work to address them and develop a healthier sense of self-worth. It can also be helpful to limit your exposure to social media and other triggers that exacerbate your comparison complex. As a coach, I would recommend that you focus on developing a growth mindset, in which challenges and setbacks are viewed as opportunities for learning and growth. Instead of fixating on the ways in which you are not like Tianfang, focus on your own unique strengths and how you can continue to develop them. Celebrate your own accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of success and happiness, regardless of how it compares to others.

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