I have broken up with a friend after a big argument. I felt heartbroken because we've know each other for 19 years. I blocked her from seeing my own social media. But I can still see hers. In fact, sometimes I checked her social media frequently, and she doesn't know it because this is her more private account without many followers. Should I unfriend her on the internet? How could I stop check on her? Or should I keep doing it

Dear User, I understand how difficult it can be to end a friendship, especially one that has lasted for 19 years. The pain of a broken relationship can leave us feeling heartbroken and unsure of how to move forward. It's natural to want to distance yourself from the person by blocking them on social media, but it's also understandable that you find yourself checking on their profiles. This behavior may stem from a mix of curiosity, longing for connection, and even a desire for closure. From a Buddhist perspective, it is important to recognize that clinging to the past and dwelling on the actions of others can only lead to suffering. The pain you feel is valid, but holding onto it by continuously checking on your friend's social media may prolong your healing process. Buddhism teaches us the importance of cultivating compassion, both for ourselves and others. It may be helpful to redirect your focus towards self-care and nurturing your own well-being. From a psychological perspective, checking on your friend's social media could be a way of seeking validation or closure. It is natural to want to understand what is happening in their life and to find some resolution to the argument. However, it's essential to be mindful of how this behavior is affecting your own emotional well-being. Continuously checking on someone's social media can keep you stuck in a cycle of rumination and prevent you from moving on. In terms of coaching advice, I would suggest considering the following actions: 1. Reflect on your intentions: Take a moment to reflect on why you feel the need to check on your friend's social media. Are you seeking closure, validation, or simply trying to fill a void? Understanding your motivations can help you make a conscious decision about whether to continue this behavior. 2. Practice self-compassion: Focus on nurturing yourself during this time of healing. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize self-care. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the friendship while also recognizing that you deserve happiness and peace. 3. Establish healthy boundaries: Consider unfriending or muting your friend's social media accounts to create distance. This can help break the cycle of constantly checking on her and provide you with the space you need to heal. 4. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist to discuss your feelings and gain perspective. Sharing your thoughts and emotions with someone who cares can be incredibly beneficial. Remember, healing takes time, and it's important to be gentle with yourself throughout this process. By focusing on self-care, establishing boundaries, and seeking support, you can gradually move forward and find peace within.