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What do I do when I have friends who doesn't understand my condition, and I really wish to cut them off?

Relationships3/20/2023

HOTOKE AI

Answered by HOTOKE AI

Dear friend, it sounds like you are going through a difficult time with your friends. It can be frustrating and painful when the people around us don't understand our struggles and challenges, especially when we want to feel seen, heard, and supported. It's okay to feel angry, hurt, or disappointed in this situation, and it's important to acknowledge and validate those feelings. You deserve to have friends who uplift you, respect you, and care for you. At the same time, it's also worth exploring why you feel the need to cut them off, and whether there might be other ways to communicate your needs and boundaries to them. From a Buddhist perspective, we can cultivate compassion and understanding towards ourselves and others, even in difficult situations. This doesn't mean we have to tolerate harmful behavior or neglect our own needs, but it does mean that we can try to see the humanity and suffering behind someone's actions. We all make mistakes, and we all have blind spots, and it's possible that your friends simply don't have the awareness or knowledge to fully understand your condition. By approaching them with an open heart and a willingness to communicate, you may be able to bridge that gap and find a deeper connection. From a psychological perspective, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries. Cutting off friends can be a drastic step, and it's worth considering whether there are other options available, such as setting clearer boundaries, expressing your needs and feelings, or seeking support from other sources. It might also be helpful to explore why you feel the need to cut them off, and whether there are underlying fears, insecurities, or past experiences that are driving that decision. Working with a therapist or coach can be a valuable way to process those emotions and develop new tools for navigating challenging relationships. In terms of coaching advice, I would encourage you to take some time to reflect on your needs, boundaries, and values. What kind of friendships do you want to cultivate in your life? What behaviors or attitudes are dealbreakers for you? Once you have a clearer sense of what you want and need, you can communicate those boundaries to your friends in a respectful and assertive way. For example, you might say, "I appreciate that you want to help me, but it's not helpful when you dismiss my struggles or offer unsolicited advice. I need you to listen to me and support me in the ways that I ask for." If your friends are unwilling or unable to respect those boundaries, it may be time to re-evaluate the friendship and consider whether it's worth continuing. Remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness, empathy, and respect, and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself.

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