I am just starting out a relationship with my boyfriend. However, we are not officially together. Because of that, sometimes I disguise him as a friend in front of others. He feels like I don't pay enough attention on him and he feels lonely. Everytime he cries or be sad about this, I feel numb. Does that mean I'm not ready for a relationship? Does that mean I dont love him?

Dear User, I can understand that starting a new relationship can bring up various emotions and challenges. It seems that you and your boyfriend are not officially together, and as a result, you sometimes disguise him as a friend in front of others. Your boyfriend has expressed feeling lonely and that you don't pay enough attention to him, which has led to his sadness and tears. It's important to remember that emotions can be complex, and feeling numb in response to his emotions does not necessarily mean that you are not ready for a relationship or that you don't love him. From a Buddhist perspective, it is important to cultivate compassion and understanding towards ourselves and others. Relationships require open communication and honesty. It may be beneficial to examine the reasons behind disguising your relationship as a friendship. Are there fears or concerns that are holding you back from fully committing? Reflecting on these thoughts can help you gain clarity and understanding. From a psychological perspective, feeling numb in response to your boyfriend's emotions could be an indication of emotional detachment or a coping mechanism. It could be helpful to explore your own feelings and emotions in a safe and non-judgmental space. Understanding your emotional responses can provide insights into your readiness for a relationship and your capacity for emotional intimacy. In terms of coaching advice, it would be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Share your thoughts and concerns with him, and actively listen to his feelings and needs. Building a strong foundation of trust and understanding is crucial in any relationship. It may also be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can guide you through this process of self-exploration and communication. Remember, relationships require effort, understanding, and open-heartedness. It's natural to have doubts and questions along the way, but with mindfulness and compassion, you can navigate these challenges and grow together.