why is it whenever i felt overwhelmed, i will start to think that i am selfish for only thinking of myself and others is probably have worst problem than mine. i just push it aside each time but it will always make me feel soo lonely and helpless somehow. is this the right cope mechanism?

Dear User, I understand the weight of the emotions you're carrying when you feel overwhelmed. It's common to experience a sense of guilt or selfishness when we prioritize our own needs over others', especially when we believe that others might be facing bigger challenges. These feelings can often lead to a sense of loneliness and helplessness, creating a cycle of negative emotions that can be difficult to break. From a Buddhist perspective, it's essential to acknowledge that self-care is not selfish; it is a necessary aspect of compassion, both for yourself and others. Understanding that you are deserving of care and kindness is not only beneficial for you but also enables you to be more present and supportive for those around you. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. From a psychological viewpoint, it's crucial to recognize that the belief of being selfish for prioritizing your own well-being may stem from deeply ingrained patterns of self-criticism or people-pleasing tendencies. These thought patterns can contribute to feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy, reinforcing the cycle of overwhelm and loneliness. It is important to challenge these negative beliefs and practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that taking care of yourself is not only acceptable but necessary for your overall well-being and relationships. Recognize that by nurturing yourself, you are better equipped to show up for others authentically and effectively. In terms of coaching advice, I encourage you to start by reframing your perspective on self-care. Consider it as a vital component of your overall mental and emotional health, rather than an indulgence. Practice setting boundaries and prioritizing activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Journaling, mindfulness practices, seeking support from loved ones or a therapist, and engaging in activities that bring you joy can all contribute to your well-being. Remember, you are worthy of love and care, and by honoring your needs, you are better positioned to support others from a place of strength and authenticity.