should i practice as a lay person or a monk?

Dear friend, I understand that you are in a place of uncertainty regarding your spiritual path. This is a common experience, and it's okay to take your time to reflect and decide what is best for you. From a Buddhist perspective, both lay practice and monastic practice are valid paths towards enlightenment. It's important to remember that the ultimate goal of Buddhism is not to become a monk, but rather to cultivate inner peace, wisdom, and compassion. From a psychological perspective, it may be helpful to reflect on your personal values, interests, and goals. Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live, what brings you joy and fulfillment, and what kind of impact you want to make in the world. Consider the practical aspects of monastic life, such as celibacy, renunciation of material possessions, and strict adherence to rules and schedules. These can be challenging for some people, while others find them liberating. Ultimately, the decision to become a lay person or a monk is a personal one that requires careful consideration and discernment. It may be helpful to seek guidance from a trusted teacher or mentor, and to explore both paths through retreats or volunteer work. Remember that there is no "right" or "wrong" choice, and that your spiritual journey is unique to you. In terms of coaching advice, I encourage you to take time to reflect on your values, interests, and goals. Consider the practical aspects of both lay practice and monastic practice, and explore both paths through direct experience. Seek guidance from trusted teachers or mentors, and trust your own intuition and inner wisdom. Remember that the most important thing is to cultivate inner peace, wisdom, and compassion, regardless of the external form of your practice.