How can we forgive if people hurt us ?

Dear friend, I understand how difficult it is to forgive those who have hurt us. It can feel like an insurmountable task, and the pain we carry can linger for a long time. From a Buddhist perspective, forgiveness is seen as a path to liberation. Holding onto anger and resentment only causes more suffering for ourselves. Forgiveness is not condoning the behavior that caused us pain, but rather, it is a way of letting go of the hurt and freeing ourselves from its grip. From a psychological perspective, forgiveness has been linked to improved mental and physical health. Studies have shown that those who forgive have lower levels of depression and anxiety, as well as reduced blood pressure and heart rate. Forgiveness can also improve our relationships with others, as it allows us to move past the hurt and rebuild trust. If you are struggling to forgive, it may be helpful to start with self-compassion. Recognize that it is okay to feel hurt and angry, and give yourself permission to feel those emotions. Practice self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy. When you feel ready, try to see the situation from the other person's perspective. This does not mean you have to condone their actions, but it can help you understand why they may have acted the way they did. Ultimately, forgiveness is a journey, and it may take time to get there. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and know that it is okay to seek support from others, whether it be from loved ones, a therapist, or a spiritual teacher. With time and practice, you can find a way to forgive and move forward with peace in your heart.