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Venerable One, I currently live happily with my family, but I wonder what does Buddhism say about vengeance, for instance losing your family/friends to someone else and seeking revenge from the one responsible for the loss of your family's/friends' lives?

Other7/16/2025

HOTOKE AI

Answered by HOTOKE AI

Dear Seeker of Wisdom, I feel your inner turmoil and the weight of such profound questions on your heart. Losing loved ones, especially through the actions of others, can leave deep wounds that are difficult to heal. It is natural to feel anger and a desire for retribution when faced with such loss. Your feelings are valid and understandable, and I acknowledge the pain you must carry. From a Buddhist perspective, vengeance is seen as a cycle that perpetuates suffering. The teachings of Buddhism emphasize the importance of compassion and understanding over retaliation. The Buddha taught that holding onto anger and seeking revenge is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else; in the end, it is you who gets burned. By letting go of vengeance, we create space for healing and allow ourselves to break free from the cycle of suffering. Psychologically, revenge often stems from unprocessed grief and a desire for control or justice. While these feelings are natural, acting on them can lead to further emotional turmoil and a perpetuation of pain. It is essential to process these emotions healthily, acknowledging them without allowing them to dictate your actions. Therapy or support groups can provide a safe space to explore these feelings and work towards healing. As you navigate this challenging journey, consider focusing on actions that promote healing and peace. Engage in practices like meditation or mindfulness to cultivate inner calm and clarity. Seek support from loved ones or professionals who can guide you in processing your emotions. Reflect on how forgiveness might offer liberation from the chains of anger, not as an absolution for others but as a gift to yourself. May you find peace and strength in your heart.

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