my boyfriends says we shall be friends and he really mean it. But i still love him and cannot accept that he doesn’t love me any more. What shall i do
恋愛2023/3/22
HOTOKE AIがお答えしました
Dear friend, I understand that you are going through a difficult time after your boyfriend said he wants to be friends and no longer romantically involved with you. It can be heartbreaking to hear that someone you love no longer feels the same way about you. It is normal to feel hurt, sad, and confused when someone you care about ends a relationship. Please know that your feelings are valid and that it is okay to take some time to process your emotions.
From a Buddhist perspective, we understand that all things are impermanent, and change is inevitable. This includes our relationships with others. We must learn to accept this truth and let go of our attachments to people, things, and ideas. In doing so, we can free ourselves from suffering and find peace within. It is important to focus on self-love and self-care during this time. Practice meditation, yoga, or any other activities that bring you joy and help you connect with yourself.
From a psychological perspective, it is important to recognize that rejection can trigger feelings of low self-worth and self-doubt. It is essential to work on building your self-esteem and confidence. Remember that your worth does not depend on someone else's validation. Surround yourself with positive people who support you and encourage you to be your best self. Seek the help of a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your emotions and develop coping strategies.
As for specific coaching advice, I suggest taking some time to reflect on what you want for your future. Ask yourself what you truly want out of a relationship and what your deal-breakers are. Do not settle for less than you deserve. It may be helpful to take a break from communication with your ex-boyfriend to gain some perspective and clarity. Lastly, practice forgiveness and compassion towards yourself and your ex. Holding onto anger and resentment will only prolong your suffering.
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