Please reply in English. I need to find a job as I’m running out of money. I wanted to just volunteer for Buddhist work and other charity work and then ordained but I back out now in ordination. I have to find work and money

I understand that you're feeling a significant amount of pressure and uncertainty right now. The desire to follow a spiritual path through volunteering and ordination is truly admirable, yet the practical concerns of financial stability are weighing heavily on you. It's a challenging position to be in, as you navigate between your aspirations and the realities of life. Please know that it's completely normal to feel this way, and you're not alone in this experience. From a Buddhist perspective, it's essential to remember the Middle Way, which encourages balance between spiritual pursuits and practical life needs. Financial security is an important aspect of living a stable life, which can, in turn, support your spiritual journey. Your desire to serve others through charity is a noble intention, but it's also important to ensure that your basic needs are met so that you can continue to help others without added stress. Psychologically, it's helpful to acknowledge the conflicting emotions you may be experiencing. It's okay to feel torn between different paths. Recognizing these emotions without judgment can lead to greater self-understanding and clarity. You might be experiencing cognitive dissonance, where your values and actions seem at odds. This is an opportunity for growth, where you can integrate these aspects of yourself into a more cohesive whole. From a coaching perspective, I suggest setting some immediate, achievable goals to address your financial concerns. Begin by identifying your skills and experiences that could translate into job opportunities. Update your resume and start networking with people who might assist in your job search. Consider part-time work or freelance opportunities that could provide flexibility and allow you to gradually transition towards more long-term employment. Additionally, create a plan that allows you to incorporate volunteer work into your schedule once you're financially stable, so you don't have to abandon your spiritual aspirations entirely.