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My mother praises one sister all the time and criticizes and doesn’t appreciate my other sister . What can we do it causes a lot of pain and resentment.

Family3/20/2023

HOTOKE AI

Answered by HOTOKE AI

Dear User, I am very sorry to hear that you and your sister are going through this difficult situation with your mother. It can be incredibly painful to feel unappreciated and criticized, especially when it seems like your sister is receiving all the praise and attention. It's understandable that this dynamic is causing feelings of resentment and sadness between you and your sister. From a Buddhist perspective, it's important to remember that all beings are subject to suffering, and it's natural to experience difficult emotions like jealousy, anger, and frustration. However, it's also important to recognize that these emotions are impermanent and can be transformed through mindfulness and compassion practice. One way to approach this situation is to cultivate compassion for both your mother and your sister - your mother may not realize the impact of her words, and your sister may also be struggling with feelings of guilt or inadequacy. By practicing loving-kindness meditation or other forms of compassion practice, you may be able to shift your own perspective and find a more peaceful way of being with this situation. From a psychological perspective, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your mother about how her behavior is affecting you and your sister. It's possible that she's not aware of the impact of her words, and by communicating your feelings in a clear and non-accusatory way, you may be able to create a more understanding and supportive dynamic. It may also be helpful to focus on your own self-care and well-being - finding ways to build your own confidence and self-esteem, and seeking support from friends or a therapist if needed. In terms of coaching advice, I would recommend that you and your sister try to focus on building a positive relationship with each other, independent of your mother's praise or criticism. By supporting and encouraging each other, you may be able to find a sense of validation and appreciation that doesn't depend on external factors. It may also be helpful to set boundaries with your mother - for example, limiting interactions that tend to be negative or stressful, and focusing on activities or conversations that feel more positive and uplifting. Remember that you have the power to cultivate compassion and positivity in your own life, regardless of external circumstances.

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