I could not pass my probation of a job. this is my first ever happening in my life, had a few job positions before. I feel architecture is hard, so is my life. I dont know why my life has to be tied with my job so much. But a lot of proceedings in life require some money to go through. I feel like the life as a monk is easier.

I hear something really tender in what you're saying—not just the disappointment about the job, but a deeper weariness. You've worked before, you've managed things, and then this one didn't work out. And somehow that single setback has made you question the whole shape of your life. That's a lot to carry. There's something I want to gently reflect back to you. You said your life feels tied to your job, and then in almost the same breath, you wondered about the life of a monk. I think what you're really touching on is this: you're exhausted not just by architecture or work itself, but by the feeling that you have to *prove* something through what you do. That your worth somehow hangs on whether you succeed at the next thing. Here's what's true though—and I don't say this to dismiss your real disappointment—but one job not working out doesn't mean you failed at life. It means one particular fit didn't match. That's different. The architecture was difficult, yes. But you were willing to try. That matters. About the monk's life feeling easier—I understand the pull of that thought. But I'd offer a gentle question: is it the simplicity you're drawn to, or is it the idea of being *released* from judgment? A monk's life has its own struggles; they're just different ones. What you might really be longing for is permission to rest, to not have to constantly measure yourself against some standard. Here's something small you might try today, if it feels right. When you lie down tonight, instead of replaying what went wrong at work, just notice one moment from today where you were kind to yourself—even in a tiny way. Maybe you made tea, or you sat quietly, or you didn't beat yourself up as much as you could have. Just notice it. Not to prove anything, but to remind yourself: you're still here, still trying, and that itself is enough. What do you think made you want to try architecture in the first place?