我的岳父是个不懂感恩而且是个指责型人格

I understand that you are dealing with a difficult situation involving your father-in-law. It can be challenging to navigate relationships with family members who have different personalities and values than our own. It sounds like your father-in-law struggles with showing gratitude and tends to be critical of others. This can be frustrating and hurtful, especially if you feel like you are putting in effort to maintain a positive relationship with him. From a Buddhist perspective, it can be helpful to practice compassion and understanding towards your father-in-law. While it may be difficult, try to put yourself in his shoes and understand where his behavior is coming from. Perhaps he had a difficult upbringing or has experienced significant stress in his life. Recognizing that his behavior is a reflection of his own struggles can help you approach the situation with empathy rather than anger. From a psychological perspective, it may be beneficial to set boundaries with your father-in-law. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with him about how his behavior affects you. Let him know that while you care about him, his criticism is hurtful and you would appreciate more positive interactions. Additionally, it may be helpful to limit the amount of time you spend with him or to avoid topics that tend to trigger negative interactions. In terms of coaching advice, I would suggest focusing on what you can control in this situation. While you cannot change your father-in-law's behavior, you can control your own reactions and responses. Practice mindfulness and self-care to help manage any negative emotions that arise when interacting with him. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.